Matt and Mike's school of Dating
by mythologyrulz
Summary: Rachel likes someone and Mike and Matt are gonna help her out.
1. Prologue

'You like him don't you?' It was those five words that had Rachel enrolled in a different kind of school. It had all started on a typical Tuesday afternoon

~~^__^~~

Rachel Berry was putting her books away at her locker getting ready to head home and upload her next Myspace video. She was normally fast to get out of the school -when she didn't have one of her many clubs to attend- to avoid ridicule and slushie facials. But, today she was particularly slow as she was taking a moment to admire fellow glee-clubber and ex-boyfriend Noah Puckerman.

"You like him don't you?" A voice from behind her teased.

"What?" Rachel jumped. "Oh Mike I didn't see you there. And as for your question I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yes you do." Mike smirked. "You like Puck"

"I repeat I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I knew it! Denial that's the first stage."

"I'm not in denial," Rachel huffed. "I have absolutely no romantic feelings for Noah."

"Alright then I won't help you date him." Mike told her in a sing song voice walking off.

Rachel had become friends with Mike and Matt pretty soon after baby-gate was found out about, the two boys began joining Rachel for lunch, eventually the three would go to the movies or mini-golf together to the point where the boys would watch musicals with Rachel, in other words they were practically best friends

"Wait." Rachel called. "What do you mean?"

"I mean myself and most likely Matt will help you catch yourself a Puckerman."

"How?"

"You'll be enrolling in 'Matt and Mike's school of dating'!" Mike told her using gigantic had gestures.

~~^__^~~

And that was how Rachel began her first lesson, flirting.

* * *

**What do you think? Let me know in a review! I'll try and update soon.**


	2. Lesson 1: Getting Noticed

**A/N: So here is the next chapter of the story I'd like to note I changed my mind about the first lesson so please don't be confused or mad.**

They had seriously gotten a blackboard. Rachel didn't think they meant an actual classroom she thought more a few tips here and there, not an actual blackboard and desks in her bedroom.

"You weren't kidding about the school thing?" Rachel asked.

"Of course not how often do Matt and me get to teach you stuff." Mike said a giant grin plastered on his face.

"It's Matt and I actually." Rachel corrected.

"Whatever. Now for your first lesson getting Puck to know you exist." Matt said

"What are you talking about? Of course Noah knows I exist we dated for six days three hours and 54 minutes." Rachel asked confused.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "you counted?"

"Well, yes don't you do that with you relationships?" Rachel asked acting like it was completely normal. "Do you want to know how long I went out with Finn? If so which time? Unless are you curious about Jesse? **(A/N: Yes Rachel did date Jesse but it doesn't matter because I doubt he'll be in the story as for there relationship I'm just gonna say they broke up after regionals which new directions won, but none of that is important to the story.) **

"No Rach we're fine without knowing that, I'm sure everyone is. What we meant by him not knowing you exist is him not really talking to you or anything, we want him to do that." Matt explained.

"But, he asked for the time last Tuesday and he even called me Rachel not Berry, I think I made a break through." Rachel squealed.

"Rachel never tell anyone about your creepy relationship habits ever, like ever." Mike stated.

Rachel sighed "Fine."

"Pinkie swear?" Mike stuck out his baby finger.

Rachel shook it with hers. "Seriously you guys are my teachers."

"Yes now sit down and start taking notes." Mike commanded.

Rachel rolled her eyes and did as told she figured they are her friends let them have they're fun.

Mike turned to the other "teacher." "Okay so um… now what?"

"We teach Rachel how to get Puck to notice her."

"I know that but how?"

Matt turned to the girl in the room. "We just need a second."

The two boys ran out of the room for about five minutes when they ran back in, looking terrified.

"Oh my goodness, what happened to you two?" Rachel asked worried.

Mike gasped. "We ran into your dad's."

She raised an eyebrow "And?"

"That's it we were talking about your lesson and then we saw that your dad's were coming this way and ran in here." Matt explained shocked at the lack of surprise he became even more shocked when Rachel started laughing.

"Dad and daddy would never hurt a fly! You're really scared of them?" Rachel giggled.

"But there huge! Seriously they could kick both of our asses without even trying." Mike exclaimed.

"Language! Honestly Michael." Rachel scolded, she rarely called him by his full name but when she did him and everyone else knew she was mad.

Mike mumbled a sorry. "Anyway we need to work on your schoolwork Rachel."

Matt stepped in. "We decided the best way to get him o notice you is glee!"

Rachel smiled for a moment before frowning. "What do you mean?" 

"You're going to do the most exciting, noticeable and most importantly sexy performance you've ever done!" Mike said giddy with excitement.

"Define sexy." Rachel said cautiously. Mike and Matt were great but they were still teenage boys with raging hormones and stuff, Rachel didn't want to end up wearing almost nothing.

Matt looked at her. "Rach we won't get you half naked we just want something memorable – not that you're not memorable! We just meant something for Puck to remember."

Rachel nodded "What did you have in mind?"

Next Wednesday Rachel walked into glee nervous she had spent about a week rehearsing with Matt and Mike, the number was very interesting and something Rachel would rarely do.

Mr. Schuster walked in, "Okay guys any ideas for regionals?"

Rachel slowly raised her hand, "I have something I was working on Mr Schuster."

"Of course you do Rachel, but why don't we let someone else work on a song. Okay?"

"But, I really worked hard on it with Matt and Mike."

The teacher sighed, "Alright show us what you've got."

Rachel walked up to the front of the classroom.

Rachel began to unzip her jacket as the music started to play, she revealed she was wearing a pink tank top and jeans, which normally wouldn't be a big deal but, this was Rachel Berry and with her everything was a big deal.

Rachel took a breath and began to sing softly

_There's somethin' 'bout the way  
The street looks when it's just rained  
There's a glow off the pavement  
You walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot  
Yeah  
Oh yeah  
_

She made eye contact puck and all these memories of why she was doing this came flooding back to her

_We're drivin' down the road  
I wonder if you know  
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
But you're just so cool  
Run your hands through your hair  
Absentmindedly you're makin' me want you  
_

She sang the lyrics with passion as a lot of them were true she loved it when he ran his hair through his Mohawk whether he was nervous or just bored.

_And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress  
Fearless  
_

She was really getting into the song she was literally 'Fearless' she slowly started walking through the rows of chairs as she sang.

_So baby drive slow  
'Til we run out of road in this one horse town  
I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat  
You put your eyes on me  
In this moment now capture it, remember it  
_

As she passed by Matt and Mike they gave her a quick thumbs up and an encouraging smile

_Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress  
Fearless  
_

She made her way through the rows before getting back to the front of the room once again locking eyes with Puck for the next verse as she sang anyone within a hundred mile radius could tell she meant every word she sang to the boy

_Well you stood there with me in the doorway  
My hands shake  
I'm not usually this way but  
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave  
It's the first kiss,  
It's flawless,  
Really something,  
It's fearless  
_

She kept her eyes locked with Puck for the rest of song. It was intense to her it seemed like they were the only ones in the world.

_Oh yeah  
Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress  
Fearless  
Cause I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress  
Fearless_

Oh, oh yeah

When Rachel ended the song it took her a few seconds to realize people were actually clapping, she knew she was an impeccable performer but, the club never clapped for her they normally just carried on with rehearsal, she looked up to see that the person who was clapping the most wasn't Matt nor Mike but it was Puck.

As practiced carried on Rachel got continuous compliments on her song and as practice came to an end she got the one that meant the most to her.

"Hey Berry," Puck began running a hand through his hair. "That was really, really good and stuff."

Rachel smiled "Thanks Noah." She skipped off to tell Matt and Mike about her 'dear diary' moment

**A/N: Well what did you guys think? The song used was Fearless by Taylor Swift. I would have used something more upbeat and partyish but I just had a brain fart for songs that was also the first time I wrote a performance so I'm sorry if it wasn't very good. I'll try and get the next chapter up soon! **

**P.S. stuff that seemed like fillers like Rachel's dads being mentioned are not at all fillers I try not to put stuff like that in :)**


	3. Lesson 2: Flirting

"Rach, you've been noticed we've made a breakthrough." Mike declared the day after Rachel's performance. "But now you need to get romantically noticed in other words you need to flirt your ass off."

"Language!" Rachel scolded. "How do I do that?"

Mike began the lesson, "Before we send you in we're going to give you nine tips before sending you on your own tomorrow."

Matt cut in, "Step one: Know who you're dealing with, in this case Puck, you have to be careful he flirt with anything with boobs, so do not take him to seriously."

Rachel raised her hand, "So you're saying I can't time all of our conversations?"

"That's exactly what we're saying," Mike answered, "Step two: Look approachable, don't be nervous or try and be sexy just smile calmly and maybe wave but do not act crazy."

Rachel quirked an eyebrow, "What are you implying?"

Matt decided to not answer that question, "Step three: Read his body language, with Puck you have to make sure he's in a flirty mood – he usually is – but if he's not he will bite your head off whether or not you're hot, but be prepared to take risks at the same time, sometimes if you can't read his body language just go for it.

"Step four," Mike began, "Make eye contact, but then you have to look away as if you were undecided about him, it will get him intrigued, but do not stare and only smile with your eyes not your teeth."

"Did you just quote Tyra Banks?" Rachel asked.

Mike flushed, "Possibly, anyway step five: Is to now start talking, just nice small talk it doesn't matter what you say as long as it's not to serious."

Matt took over, "Step six: start talking about yourself, but not in big quantities just tell stories or jokes about your life fun stuff about yourself nothing serious just light stuff. Also make sure you talk about common interests it's a great way to keep talking."

Mike stepped up, "Step seven: Give him complete attention, though you want to talk you also have to laugh at his jokes and listen to his stories you have to seem interested in him, guys love attention."

Matt took the next step, "Step eight: Use body language to show you want to jump his bones, just touch his arm gently and briefly nothing over the top just light and romantic and of course sexy.

Mike took the final step, "Step nine: close the deal, you have to be sexy and show that you wanna get closer so just when he thinks it's getting good you never wanna linger, so leave abruptly but still say something about wanting to hear from him, a simple 'call me' will do or something harder to read 'see you later' that will leave the guy intrigued about what you meant and he will indeed want to 'see you later.'"

"Do you understand?" Matt asked.

Rachel nodded.

"Do you want cheat cards?" Mike asked.

Rachel nodded again.

**A/N: That was just a filler chapter I just wanted to update the story before you completely forget about it. I'll try and update quicker from now on! **


	4. AN

Hey people!

This is just a little author's note (posted on all stories of mine) saying that I will not be writing during November because I'm doing NaNoWriMo! I will try and update occasionally but don't hold your breath. I will be back in action around December.

Also on the NaNoWriMo site you can find me under Mythologyrulz if you interested in looking at my novel. It's a glee/breakfast club sort of high school story. I'm going to post character profiles on my profile if you want to look at them.

That is all,

Mythologyrulz *

P.S. Is anyone doing NaNoWriMo? What's your username?


	5. ReLaunch!

Hello all!

Please take a moment to throw your various rotten fruits and vegetables at me as I very well deserve it. I haven't posted in 4 months, I seriously suck, and I mean I suck so much. But there is reason behind this author's note besides self bashing.

I am re-launching my account, by that I mean I will be updating again and be active in the FanFiction community (I barely even read it anymore I have like 50 e-mails in my inbox concerning story alerts). The official date of my re-launch is...

December 16th!

On this day I will update every single story this note is posted on (yes this note is cross-posted). I will also be starting a tumblr along with my blog if your interested in that.

I will post the tumblr link on December 1st on my profile.

Thanks to anyone who even remembers these stories exist,

Mythology.


End file.
